They got engaged at the same time as you, and we wanted to throw them a party, so we figured we might as well kill two birds with one stone and have one for you at the same time! At the time my son was 3 or 4, and would refer to the teams by their jersey color. After four hours, my patient peeked in the station and signaled for me to come with her in her room. So I get a rocking chair, set it out in the driveway, and sit watch. My rage finally quelled, I put down the gun and pick up the flashlight. He starts going through attendance, not looking up the whole time. I finished the nachos and all in all, I would say that I probably consumed six to seven complete jalapenos by the time I was done.
She stopped…I held my breath as I looked at her face as I saw it turn from confusion to sheer horror. That left me with soiled boxers and socks. The weasels would wait until we forgot to lock the birds up and kill them all in once sitting, leaving them all there dead on the ground. The elderly man looked across at me, smiled and winked, then proceeded to remove his false teeth and give our son a big grin. My face got red, I felt immediately hot, my legs felt weak. It drops the hen, which is dead, and as I point the flashlight into the trees I see it is a youngish raccoon.
It was innocent — there was no guile, evil intent, or insult intended. When I walked in her room, it was full of parents and kids, she was standing in the middle. He kept trying to look up her pant leg and I asked him what he was looking for. After dropping off the last one, I pulled down a mostly quiet side street, grabbed a ziploc bag, and did the best I could. After waiting in there for what felt like an eternity I finally handed my semen filled cup back to the old lady nurse who acted impatient and upset that I took so long. Now the story, which probably won't seem as funny since I just had to explain all that first: My wife and I were at a party in Houston and mentioned to someone that we'd just moved to Austin. One time I forgot I wore a dress, and I lifted my leg in the air — my boss definitely saw it.
I start to the squat descent, and feel leakage. We were both laughing and I was worried one of them would actually try to eat it. While feeling awkward during your appointment is natural, your doctor knows what comes along with their profession, and he or she is most likely not at all phased by some of the very things that turn your cheeks bright red. I clicked accept without double-checking. Then my cousin proceeded to tell the whole family that she finally heard me fart for the first time ever.
Probably the most embarrassing thing ever! Bailed out by blowing triple zeros, recieved high five from cop. Mom asked me if I need help with the first diaper change, of course I declined, I mean how hard can it actually be? None of us realized until we were walking to the front to pay the bill that my grandmother had spilled chocolate syrup into her chair and had squirmed in it for the past 30 minutes. I farted and the string jumped. I got the plate of chips and smothered them in cheese and then topped them off with a layer of jalapenos. She had proceded to coat her lips with a very thick layer of protection against the winter cold. I showered, dressed and went downstairs and joined my group to go to Waffle House, where I ordered up a big, greasy hangover curing meal when the urge to urinate hit me. I just jizzed in a fucking urine sample cup and now this poor elderly woman who was probably months away from retirement was now horrified and confused as she was gripping a hot cup of my potential babies.
When my boss came home, having to explain why one of her kids was running around but naked and the other one was asking to eat her poop. We have all been there. I wrapped it in a plastic bag and hid it in the back of the Jeep and threw it out once we got into town again. From my own informal survey, here are six embarrassing office tales that you surely won't be able to forget -- although the people involved in them might want to. I had been saving up what I thought was a fart and let it fly in the comfortable privacy of the Waffle House bathroom. It hit really suddenly so I stopped at one of those kiosks in the walkway and threw up in their trashcan.
Ran to the front, rang doorbell and knocked. His English was so bad that neither of us knew that the other was not making sense. I just wanted to get the fuck out of there. I then had to stand up, turn around, and then push the limits of my sanity further. There were no bathrooms in the building so I had to go outside and vomit right outside the church. When you just start working for the family, and you do your best to show how amazing you are, but somehow you end up doing something embarrassing. The elderly man was tickled pink and said that was the best laugh he had had all day.
I was then informed that my son had actually Bit Adam three times! It was an honest observation. I was presenting during a sales pitch to a Fortune 50 company. I jump up with the flashlight, run outside, and see something smallish with a hen in its mouth. Everything was going well, we ate well, we drank well and when we wrapped up, we all piled into a cab to head back to our hotel. I was stuck there for two hours with nothing to do except talk about my vagina to my gynecologist. I should have told her it was not me.