Some narcissists are emotionally abusive. Or even the kind of love you want? You protect yourself by disengaging. I had an idea but to read it in the way you presented has set me on a path of freedom and a journey of self discovery that I will never look back from. I am emotionally exhausted and started looking for answers as to what is going on. Always have been while he blames me for everything. This stemmed from my childhood.
The people that I have seen try to heal or work on narcissists from their own neediness pay a huge price. That being said, any narcisstic supply is human or a bigger subset of human life that yields a reaction from others. I did much research to find answers as to how someone you love so much can do such terrible things to a person. If he talks to you - keep quiet, don't answer. Everything that you've described pertains to him. These women, just like you, manifested a narcissist into their life all for the ultimate purpose of their unconscious wounds becoming conscious so that they could heal them. I checked myself into a psych ward for 10 days and would have gone through with suicide had I not been so exhausted and numbed out.
The real supply is the respect, admiration, control, etc. I am merely a survivor who is speaking her truth. They have bought the narcissists story hook, line, and sinker. I read your post and as a mother, I thought to respond. I was with him for a year he broke up with me over text a week ago after ignoring my messages and disappearing for 2 weeks and he absolutely started to do the disappearing act on me with ever-increasing length and frequency. This was someone that I spent one year with, every day — in my home, loving this man and treating him really well, all the time. Stefanie June 20, 2014 Truly excellent and dead-on article, Mel! In the end my life was forever changed for the worst.
This is true for any addiction. But the main purpose of her call was to find out if I still loved her. I feel like my nightmare will never end. June 20, 2014 Hi Laurie, you are very welcome, and I am so glad I helped. By making you feel inferior, they boost their fragile ego, and feel better about themselves. It is ironic too because the girl that he cheated with was his ex who he said all kinds of horrible things about.
While it is easy to understand the function of the Primary Supply, Secondary Supply is a more complicated affair. Narcissists exist in a world of self-hatred, pathological shame and deep-rooted insecurity. When someone tires of an appliance, or they think another appliance works better, they discard the old appliance in favor of a newer model. I may be speaking out of tongue and I apologise. You are beautiful and soon you will see that again. He rebels by striking out at the perceived founts of his frustration and enslavement - his sources of Narcissistic Supply.
Infamy is as sought after as fame, being notorious is as good as being renowned. It's all in their head, partly paranoia that the lie they are living will be seen through and partly projection of their own self-hatred. It took, unfortunately, me coming close to a nervous breakdown and having another narcissist show up saying how wonderful she was and how she could fix everything I had no time to get to and having turned everything over to her to realize they are both narcissists. They get even more hooked in and poisoned. I am on my 2nd at-work narcissist. I see this happen, time and time again in the abuse recovery communities.
Indifference is what the narcissist cannot stand. The idealized false self must be propped up at all costs. Appearances count more than substance, what matters is not the truth but its perception. Even in regard to our children… Please read this article to understand. We met 7 years ago, relationship moved very fast I thought , he was very romantic the first few months never had that in my life , and then it stopped. To the narcissist his achievements can be imaginary, fictitious, or only apparent, as long as others believe in them.
You are not a person with your own thoughts and feelings, but rather a servant to their needs, to be swiftly punished if you falter in your assigned role. But the classic narcissist also craves punishment. I thought my not reacting would make things better. Never any holiday or birthday gifts every holiday is ruined by him. When the cracks appear and the insane behaviour begins, this is the real person you meet.
Primary supply sources are plentiful, come and go, disguarded…reeled back in for a second round whether it be short term or long term. It is supply under the guise of leading a normal life. Her dad has not changed at all and I do not have any contact with him. The survivor generates a shield of protection from further abuse by instigating and continuing with No Contact, in addition to healing from the trauma of emotional abuse by working with qualified helping professionals. Attention - whether in the form of fame or infamy - is what it's all about. Answer: The narcissist internalises a bad object typically, his in his childhood. I was always the one who made him happy and understood him.
He rebels by striking out at the perceived founts of his frustration and enslavement - his sources of Narcissistic Supply. He is the most disordered of them all. Free, unrestricted use is allowed on a non commercial basis. It looked outwards, and created stories. I hope you share your gift with the world. If the only way is to be feared — he makes sure they fear him. She has destroyed so many people with her disorder.